{"id":1486,"date":"2026-05-14T11:25:22","date_gmt":"2026-05-14T11:25:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/edmpackz.com\/?p=1486"},"modified":"2026-05-14T12:00:32","modified_gmt":"2026-05-14T12:00:32","slug":"how-one-mom-saved-her-teen-from-online-groomers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/edmpackz.com\/?p=1486","title":{"rendered":"How one mom saved her teen from online groomers \u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Colorado mom Dana Grueser is still trying to piece together how her sweet son ended up on a locked ward screaming at her for being a Nazi and begging for his phone. \u201cYeah,\u201d sighs Dana. \u201cIt\u2019s a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n

At this point it has been two years since that dark time. When her son Ari was 14 and starting high school, Dana says, his friend group fell apart. He and his girlfriend broke up, and his parents separated, too. Dana encouraged him to go outside, but he said no one else was out there. He started spending more time online.<\/p>\n

Dana wasn\u2019t too worried. She\u2019d set up parental controls. And yet, she would later learn, Ari got to the point where he was eluding all the safeguards and spending 12-14 hours online a day.<\/p>\n

Online he made new \u201cfriends,\u201d who urged him to do things like carve pentagrams and upside down crosses on his chest.<\/p>\n

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Too much time spent online can lead to depression and anxiety. New Africa \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The FBI recently\u00a0issued a warning<\/a>\u00a0about these \u201cviolent online networks,\u201d that work to establish trusting relationships with kids, especially ones with issues like depression or eating disorders.<\/p>\n

Once they\u2019ve gotten a kid to do something humiliating \u2014 say, mutilating themselves on camera \u2014 they can threaten to show this to the kid\u2019s friends or families.<\/p>\n

As for why the gangs do this, the FBI lists sexual gratification, criminal extortion, social status and\/or the desire to sow chaos.<\/p>\n

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Violent online networks can encourage a child to self mutilate, sometimes on camera, with the threat of showing the video to family and friends. kieferpix \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The first few times Ari cut himself he was so upset afterward that he told his mom. But when Dana reported the cutting to his therapist, Dana says the response was, \u201cSo many kids are self-harming that we don\u2019t necessarily raise it to an \u2018emergency level\u2019 unless they have a plan to commit suicide.\u201d<\/p>\n

So her son kept cutting himself. Even after Dana locked up all the knives and scissors, he used the wire from a spiral notebook. His political rants were all over the map.<\/p>\n

One Saturday as Dana drove Ari home, she asked him, \u201cWhere are you getting this information and why are you feeling this way?\u201d<\/p>\n

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Dana Gruser credits independence with bringing her son back from online radicalization.<\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Time spent online cannot compare to the joys of time spent in the \u201creal world,\u201d playing outside and doing things independently. Arsenii \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Ari exploded. He screamed at his mom for persecuting him, called her a Nazi and shoved his phone in her face to show her a video on TikTok. When they got home, Dana says, \u201cI started Googling, \u2018Is my son being radicalized online?\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n

That Tuesday, Ari\u2019s sister showed Dana what she\u2019d found hidden in Ari\u2019s clothes: a six-inch hunting knife inscribed, \u201cDeath.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Getting together a band was one of several things that made Ari happy.<\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

On Dana\u2019s insistence, he was admitted to a locked psychiatric ward where he stayed for 10 days.<\/p>\n

When he was convinced to divulge his phone password, \u201cI was able to get in and see stuff I had hoped never to see in my whole life,\u201d says Dana. \u201cHundreds of pictures of self-harm, starting out with just a little cut to his arm, but eventually all over, head to toe, cut-up.\u201d<\/p>\n

When he got out of the hospital, he went into six weeks of intensive therapy and also back to school \u2014 a different one.<\/p>\n

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With only a flip phone now, Ari had a lot of time to fill. He organized a band, learned sound engineering and recorded a solo album. He also started taking Jiu Jitsu. And then, says Dana, one day:<\/p>\n

\u201cHe came home and said, \u2018Mom, the best, coolest thing happened! I GOT A FLAT TIRE!\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n

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Sometimes the antidote to online radicalization can be something as simple as riding a bike. Mat Hayward \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cYou got a flat tire and that was cool?\u201d Dana asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got the flat tire and I was thinking, \u2018Oh my God \u2014 what do I do? How am I going to get home? I\u2019m really far away!\u2019 \u201d Ari said. His first impulse was to call Dana. \u201cBut then I wanted to figure it out on my own.\u201d<\/p>\n

So he did. He got himself to a bike shop where they fixed the tire \u2014 gratis \u2014 and sent him on his way.<\/p>\n

\u201cI figured it out on my own, Mom. I didn\u2019t have to call for your help.\u201d<\/p>\n

That was the turning point: A chance to prove himself in the real world.<\/p>\n

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When Ari got a flat tire and was able to repair it with no help from his mom, it gave him a boost of confidence. Andrii \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Dana believes her son was saved by three things, in addition to the hospitalization and therapy:<\/p>\n

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    Less time on tech.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

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    Starting a band.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

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    Fixing his bike without her help.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Back when her son was first enticed into the world of gore, says Dana, \u201cI really think that if he\u2019d just had a game of pick-up baseball in the park, it might have been enough to keep him connected.\u201d<\/p>\n

    That\u2019s the reason she\u2019s sharing her story \u2014 and advice:<\/p>\n

    Today\u2019s kids \u201care not allowed to go across the street to get a Starbucks. They\u2019re not allowed to go anywhere or do anything \u2014 but they\u2019re\u00a0allowed to be on social media for hours,\u201d says Dana. It\u2019s time to flip that. We can encourage neighbors to let their kids play outside, too, without us hovering. We can ask our schools to ask our kids to do more things on their own, too. (The nonprofit I helm,\u00a0Let Grow<\/a>,has a free, independence-building program for schools. Let a thousand tires deflate!)<\/p>\n

    \u201cWe can ask our kids to run errands, and trust them to deal with some snags along the way.<\/p>\n

    \u201cMost kids will not end up radicalized online, thank god. But most kids will end up better off if we can give them back a real-world childhood.\u201d<\/p>\n

    Skenazy is president of\u00a0<\/em>Let Grow<\/em><\/a>,\u00a0the nonprofit promoting childhood independence and resilience, and founder of the\u00a0<\/em>Free-Range Kids<\/a>\u00a0movement. Here is her\u00a0<\/em>TED Talk<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

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